Please raise your hand if you have any questions.

"Ids in here, Thid id where id rethides!"

2008-02-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

Boys and Girls the following Karlism will take a little bit of visualization on your part and possibly a little bit of imagination, but if you do not have the ability to do either you may want to download the sermon from Sunday night and wait until you hear "Ids in here, Thid id where id rethides!"

But on to those who can visualize, there was Karl in all of his graceful bald glory, lights glistening of his forehead, his voice a cool collected tone of intent, the words flowed from his mouth as if a symphony had just played them into existence. He was in his stride, he had found his groove, and many other cliches I dont care to mention, and it happened, he stuck out his tongue and pointed at his mouth and with all the elogance of an hippo in a mini skirt at a ballrom dance competition uttered these words (the translated version) "It's in here, this is where it resides".

And so I present you with the Karlism of the Day: "Ids in here, Thid id where id rethides!"

My Favorite Karlisms Word Yet!

2008-02-05T17:40:00.000-08:00

Today ladies and gentlemen I would like to present you with the word DIATRIBE, now I am of the understanding that in Africa the word DIATRIBE is a reference to any tribe of PYGMY'S. Why you ask because when the Cannibals decide to go out for dinner and they want to watch how many calories that they take in, instead of eating a normal meal consisting of average size men and women they go off of Jenny Craigs charts and they have the DIATRIBE dinner.

Now in other parts of tribal based countries DIATRIBE has the same base meaning but has been turned into a slang word for the Skinny malnurished women of opposing tribes. You would hear such smack talk as "If I need a Golf Club I'll stub your DIATRIBE Wife's big toe and grab her by the neck," or "Dude your Diatriabe of a girlfriend blends in perfect with the tall grass." Now I do not condone these acts of aggression I am merely a purveyor of facts.

I'm Praying my Butt off for you.

2008-01-22T21:35:00.000-08:00

This Karlism is shared as a favorite by several members of the leadership at our church, it is a perfect description of Karl and everything he cares about, so the follow shall be a character analysis of our pastor using one of his most frequently used Karlisms.

It all begins with a description of his permanent state of mind prayer, he is always in prayer constantly praying for the safety of those around him, constantly reminding us to do the same, constantly in a conversation with THE ONE TRUE SOVEREIGN GOD OF THE UNIVERSE.

We move on to his Butt - now I know it sounds weird for the word butt to be used in with the word prayer, but this shows Karl lack on conformity, refusing to be a part of the machine he rebels and uses words like butt and crap, he is our James Dean only not as good looking, and still alive.

And finally its all for you - that's why he does this so that everyone he meets and calls friend will be with him in Heaven.

Its a break down of the man, the myth who is Karl.

Or you could just rack up this Karlism to the fact that he a freaking yankee from Philadelphia and he just doesn't know how to say I'm praying for you without having at least some form whether mild or severe of profanity leaving his mouth.

Some Shhhtuff and a Tickle - It happens!

2008-01-20T22:39:00.000-08:00

So the last two weeks have spent in James in our services and the following two Karlism's have been the ones that have stuck out to me.

Shtuff - Now the humor of "Shtuff" to me is I remember when I was a kid I would start to slip with another a sh word and would always catch myself and substitute "shtuff" or "shmurf" for it. So when I hear it said from the pulpit I giggle to myself and wait for my Mom to yell "Daniel! What did you just say?"

Tickle - Its such an innocent word it conjures thoughts of wrestling with my two year old son and tickling him until he is crying from laughter. I think of my own dad doing the same with me when I was a child. I think of tickling my wife until she is screaming for me to stop. But tonight while listening to the service this word was cheapened, it was broken down into a dirty word. It caused a feeling of guilt and remorse for my rationalizations of some decisions, so I would just like to say thank you Pastor Karl for taking a happy and joyous word and making it unusable in everyday life, next time why don't you just take the word happy and ruin it too!

The beginning of it all!

2008-01-15T08:53:00.001-08:00

It all began (at least for me) one monday night in the middle of the summer during one of our leadership meetings, our pastor, Karl was excited about something that happened over the weekend and he used a term that I would say began the now infamous and ever growing list of Karlisms. I still remember the look and everyones face when the word "geeked" was thrown into the mix, we didnt know if we should be offended or angry it caused a weird sensation in us all and finally someone confronted him about the word and h gave is the definition:

geeked: To excite emotionally: I'm geeked about that new video game.

And he seemed more offended that we didnt know the word than we were that he used it. So from that momnt forward we came up with a plan whenever Kalr uses a word we dont know or says something that confuses us we are to raise our hands so he can explain it to us a little better. Since that time there have been many moments when Karlisms have delayed our meetings for more than a few minutes.

And because we get much humor out of these we decided to start to share these with the blogging world! And maybe in turn we could receive some new isms from other people. Below you will find the beginning list and as time gows by we will add news Karlisms we are presented with.

pericope
(pə-rĭk'ə-pē) An extract or selection from a book, especially a reading from a Scripture that forms part of a church service.

phantasmagorical
characterized by fantastic imagery and incongruous juxtapositions; "a great concourse of phantasmagoric shadows

Mixed Blessings
Its like receiving a kidney transplant from a bed wetter.